So you would like to know how to handle the difficult to understand people they call men? No problem. Here we'll give you some hints and tips that'll help you manipulate them into doing things the way you want them to. There's one rule we've taken as a starting point here: men are lazy, unfaithful creatures that should not be taken too seriously. Of course, they don't have to know that you have this insight, so the tips we give you here generally have as a goal to keep them from being lazy and unfaithful in a manner that will make them think they are being taken seriously.

If you may (ever) meet an attractive man, DON'T try to pay for anything in his presence. DO encourage him by smiling a lot and let him pick up the bill. Emancipation time is over. We made men into whimpering softies that actually try to have feelings. But we never said they shouldn't be a gentleman. So let's change them again. Even if we aren't able to turn back to those great times in which we were good taken care of, we at least achieved that our wallet hasn't been emptied.

If you found a reasonably good man and if he asks you to marry him, DON'T tell him that you need to think about it first. DO say yes immediately and start making plans that same minute. He asked you in a moment of temporary insanity (probably just after sex) and the time you need to think it over, would be just long enough for him to regain his old 'sane' self.

If he asks you to come along and watch him sport, DON'T give in, not even if he starts acting up. DO ask him for some money instead and go shopping with your best friend. This way, you actually make him happy by giving him the idea that he doesn't have to go shopping with you (as if you'd want that anyway) AND you remember him of the fact that you're the real boss here.

If you, of course by accident, had a little bit too much to drink, DON'T let him put you to bed, DO make love to him passionately. By putting you to bed, he tries to look like a good boy. In reality, he just wants to get drunk himself while you're sleeping. Moreover, your inhibitions will be down and we promise you you'll have a lot of fun.

Remarks, reactions, questions and other nonsense to send us? Email: menwomen@sd.nl