Came here to have a good laugh did you? Preferably at the cost of women? Then you came to the right place. One warning is in order here though: Don't repeat these jokes in the presence of a woman. Her sense of humor differs slightly from yours. Approximately the difference between heaven and earth.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

I got married about a year ago, and noticed that I put on a little weight. A friend explained the whole thing: It seems that single guys come home, look at what's in the fridge, and go to bed. Married guys come home, look at what's in bed, and go to the fridge.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband: "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it.

Both of my marriages have been dissapointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.

Q: What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? A: You can't unscrew the second.

Three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home...."

Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.

Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.

A little boy asked his father: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied: "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."

A man is incomplete until he's married. Then he's really finished.

bartender: "I think you've had enough, sir." drunk: "I just lost my wife, buddy!" bartender: "Well, it must be hard losing a wife. drunk: "It was almost impossible.

Marriage is grand. Divorce is about ten grand.

My wife only has two complaints: Nothing to wear and not enough closet space.

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked: "Will you buy booze?" The bum said: "No." The man asked: "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said: "No." Then the man asked: "Will you please come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

A man yells to his wife: "Pack your bags. I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks: "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says: "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same...

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while, but then smiled and said: "It really works!"

Cosmetics: A womans' means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

Some mornings I wake up grouchy....and some mornings I just let her sleep.

What's the difference between a vision and a sight? When my wife gets dressed for a party she looks like a vision and when she wakes up the next morning she's a sight.

Remarks, reactions, questions and other nonsense to send us? Email: menwomen@sd.nl